Watched the Beyonce documentary on HBO tonight. I was never the biggest Beyonce fan, but I have a greater respect for, and understanding of who she is. There many things in her documentary that struck a chord with me, but the biggest was her passion and commitment to her craft. It made me sit back and realize something about myself: while I like my job and I’m good at it, it’s not my passion. I get up every morning, put my makeup on, and make myself presentable to rent apartments to people. Last year I leased almost a million dollars worth of apartments. So yes, I’m good at my job. I wasn’t putting that out there to brag. I have a co-worker who did better than that. The point I’m trying to make is that I made all of that for someone else. Why can’t I do that for myself doing something that I love?
Baking is my passion. It’s the one thing that I do that I would (most of the time) do for free. I’ll wake up early to bake, I’ll go to bed late. It is the thing that makes me feel the most alive. When I bake, I am my most authentic self. I’m not playing a role and trying to fit a mold or please anyone. The only person I need to please is myself. At work there are certain things, like prices and rules, that I have no control over. When I’m creating in my kitchen, I have 100-percent ownership of that. I control the outcome. At work I have to rely on others such as maintenance, vendors, and clients to give me what I need in order to make move in day successful. For right now, it’s on me to make sure I have everything I need to make cookies, or a cake. With that said, I’ve decided to get off the hamster wheel: This will be my last year at my current job. I love my community and the residents, but it’s time for me to follow my passion, wherever that leads. I don’t know how the money situation will work out, but I have to leave those things up to God. He’s never allowed me to be homeless or miss too many meals *smile*, and I have always had what I needed and then some. He has allowed me so many wonderful experiences that I don’t doubt for one minute that He will see me through on this next chapter in my life.
I’m gonna stand in my truth, I hope you do the same,